Keep singing…
Most of the time I know I’m fine. I know who I am and what I want. I feel like the whole universe works with me to reach for what I really want to do and be. I know I’m okay and secure. But things happen. Unexpected things that suddenly blow up in my face. That’s when I come to realize how proud and lazy I’ve become. I come to see how one lousy, lazily-made decision could lead to the next and to the next and to the next. I fall flat on my face. I cry out my eyes and search deeper, look up higher, long for something better. I try to make up for the lost by spending my time with beings that somehow zap the life out of me. Words that are not backed by a godly life can accumulate like poison in the soul. Words are not mere words. Living thoughtlessly can bring so much trouble. A showy and pretentious life is an empty life. A simple life is a full life. I want a simple life. I don’t want clutter. But sometimes I just can’t let go of it all. I just can’t. I was just never given the chance to. I really was given the chance, but I passed up. However, I love that decision. I’ll always be proud of that decision. But I also long for somethings to come. It kept me holding on, and I know I must let go completely. Totally abandon everything. The road to life is narrow and vigorous. It requires total attention. I need as few distractions as possible. I just have to keep singing, that’s the only way I’ll find healing.
